The Almighty (Deluxe Edition)

by Kabuto the Python

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(Chorus) Kabuto Kabuto, Kabuto Kabuto Kabuto Kabuto, Kabuto Kabuto Kabuto Kabuto, Kabuto Buto Kabuto Kabuto Buto Kabuto, Kabuto Buto Kabuto (Verse 1) Get up on a beat like this and I make it happen With a little rapping action Give dap and slap half-ten for the backspin Hop up in a black Accent and I'm mashing Ditching all the crap-ass wack gay bashing, Still, I got the mask and raps and smacking KTP the microphone type assassin Talented and dashing, smashing Y'all just lacking everything you need to be rapping That and you're acting so what's happening Think you is a badass like Sam Jackson? Nah son You ain't even Action Jackson Flap gums, get it to the grill like a dad with some shrinkwrapped hot dogs in Cats And Dogs, I wish the cats won (Chorus) (Verse 2) Yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah son, better get a day job walking cats or, maybe you could be a ship captain Not flattery, way you tryna act all African You're just harassing them Want a verse, get a beat that's past just slapping Ask me then, you'll get a rap in ten ten ten ten ten
(Shael Riley) I know a man in a mask I know a man in a mask knows trouble finds no salvation from sin If you carried his load, if you walked with his bundle, you wouldn't want to be him (Kabuto the Python) So I dig rap, wear a fitted cap and some Nikes Neff hoodie, Neff hater blockers and a white tee Nerdy but not riding for my people like I'm Spike Lee I don't really like white demons but they like me I like Soulja Boy, Jay, Nicki and Kanyeezy Drake too, Gucci and Waka, and Young Jeezy No weeaboo, I like Weezy and not chibis I like Based God saying he's people from on TV I fuck with Ke$ha more than Dessa, hella, Yela more than Tech and dig Umbrella (ella) ella (ella) ella (ella) ey I like Justin Bieber Even though you fuckers think he's such a weiner Really though, feeling like some things ain't straight how the nerds like me, I like things they hate Yall corniness has brought me to the brink today and ain't really nothing I can think to say, leggo (Shael Riley) I know a man in a mask I know a man in a mask knows fallback tired and empty is he As the python slinks back to his den heavy is the head that wears the ball cap Take it from old KTP (Kabuto the Python) Feeling like for real my disposition's not sunny I think pirates, even zombies and ninjas aren't funny I hate Hot Topic type shirts with the with the clever quips And when I say "clever" what I mean is they are never this Mad? I ain't finna bring the tune to a end though and I ain't never played a fucking Super Nintendo I ain't even played a single Mario game I think that Star Trek is boring, and that Sonic is lame Yo I think that Ron Paul is a shithead Voted for Obama and I got what the tin said And if you ain't pissed yet the rest should do You say you "fucking hate chavs," no respect for you Not a DnDer, I ain't never read fantasy and I still have yet to see a well-written anime Yo I know the scene is like a proper big family but this the type of shit I would have thought'd scare my fans away (Shael Riley) I know a man in a mask I know a man who's a space invader I know a man from Vietnam I know a man who's dark I know a man beyond salvation I know a man-python (Kabuto the Python) MC Lars: kind of a pariah, and Buto do not really bump the music but I likes his views And I am nobody and really ain't got shite to lose but if you want me on a diss, then I might refuse Ayo, these days I'm on a bell hooks tip and through that prism, many of you, well, look shit like Danimal Cannon who had the nerve to tell me he ain't a bigot while decked out in everything except for grease paint Ignorant fucks are gonna notice this sadist Catch me up on Tumblr reading "Yo, Is This Racist?" Talentless minstrels who flow a bit Amos And you're acting like that tip is really dope and shit? Heinous If you're lucky you might see me bump a Front CD but most the rest of you all do not get no truck from me Ayo, pleased to meet you, I yearns to smack yer I'm Kabuto, the world's worst nerdcore rapper (Shael Riley) I know a man in a mask I know a man who's beyond salvation I know a man from Vietnam I know a man who's dark I know a man who's a space invader I know a man who'll soon be gone I know Kabuto the Python
(Hook - Kabuto the Python) Pit (pit) vipe (vipe) erss (erss) ssssss (ssssss) Buto, Viet Vu, vipers loose from the zoo Pit (pit) vipe (vipe) erss (erss) ssssss (ssssss) Quiet on the set, Imma bite em in the neck (Kabuto the Python) It's Kabuto the Snake, the pit viper Plus the Python, write on and spit tighter Bright with Nikons, light on, the pic sniper DSLR Rebel XTi that click nicer Wait, no photography rap, the god is rocking the track and Mazel Toving, kick back and pop a bottle of Jack I know a lot of you wack and proper awful at rap It ain't a novelty that y'all ogle Bugging like I'm Archduke Poggle the Lesser You could get gobbled in the dark like if you bothered a leopard because the MCs I eat up all of them Never without my (gasp) Heinz bottle and the salt and the pepper I sink a fang up in your face, let you vomit and shiver and I will show your mama I am charming at dinner and if you cannot keep a beat well then you aren't a good spitter It ain't a motherfucking case of "better tardy than never" (Hook) (Kabuto the Python) S.C. or outer space, home is where the heart is but you can catch me rolling up in Oakland where the BART is Scope you in the darkness, poke you in the heart with a sharp stick Best you better hope I'm only heartless (Viet Vu) You are so hopeless, we are so focused Put down the needle cuz you're fucking with the dopest Hocus pocus, plague you like locusts Change your whole life--Mr. Holland's opus (Kabuto the Python) Get the strap, I'm finna Attack The Block B-b-b-brap brap brap, yeah, blast a shot But I don't really give a fuck if you can clap the Glock and if you even wear a helmet Imma gnash the top and I'm a astronaut, kicking raps for the galaxies mad Andromedans think I'm sick like a malady Crack mind, knowledge of rhyme expand rapidly Studying the art under an Andalite faculty (Viet Vu) See me change forms, I'm so reptilian Cold blooded, fire-hearted, getting so furious Delirious, and a little bit mysterious Lost in a void like Eerie, Indiana is I'm the un-aired, unseen, sofa king See you in the airwaves, this is just an air raid And I'm taking over moving like Casanova I'm about to blow up when you add some baking soda I experiment with no experience Gotta bring my A game, don't touch my bayonet It's pointless, we'll poison the noiseless A two headed beast like conjoined twins The python, the brainiac, men like maniacs Poems more epic than the fucking Iliad This an Odyssey, to an odd degree Einstein mind with a little mediocrity (Hook) (Kabuto the Python) K for Kabuto, A for Almighty, B for a Boot that'll kick it like Trevor Likely U is for Underground, T is for Type-B, Oh, you ain't effing with the writes? You can bite me! I used to kick dicey flows and looking back I kinda think my old shit slightly blows I could have stepped back from the prow but I just buckled down, got my bars up and now I grasp what I lacked in the past, I'm the best writing tracks in the back of an Acura Legend and tactically pensive but nasty with dense shits Raps are intense, leave them bastards defenseless I am on the job, make the wack and horrendous cry and put the drops in the black where my pen dips I ain't gonna stop till the racks in the tens Kid's flying to the top cause I'm back with a vengeance! (Hook)
(Verse 1) I know I said it, fuck weather, y'all soft like duck feathers and the type of shmucks who switch up fonts for subheaders That shit is bush league, mafukker, I'm much better Finna cause you discomfort, like under a rough sweater (get thee hence) Fuck these state-sanctioned Saint Nicks and tree ornaments and fuck a dog owner kvetching about the leash ordinance (get thee hence) Fuck an MQ-1 drone with beast ordnance and congressfolk who move on gay rights like weak tortoises (get thee hence) Fuck Wade and Dial, right? How you stop an orca? Double fuck Johnny Test, right now I'm watching Korra I give a fucks if you from Moscow or Glocca Morra fucker, fuck you if you hate snapbacks but rock fedoras (get thee hence) You're probably even stinky when compared to butts Fuck the classrooms that made me sit in chairs that suck Fuck the pioneers who slaughtered all the bears and such Fuck a rapper if he swear too much, get the fuck out (Chorus) Yo I hate a lot of shit, that's the brand, thats my thing dude Positivity is hella bland, I aint being rude but fuck you, everything I say is accurate, lad Some of the stuff you probably like is really actually bad Now get thee hence Yeah, get thee hence Get thee hence Get thee hence kid, hence Get thee hence (Verse 2) Yo listen (it's like this) I'm a rapper, I don't exist (right) I'm a figment, a mystery, if this (nothing) Some of y'all tryna get your kisser in my bidness (get thee hence) Listen, I ain't with this, for shiznits, listen kids Kabuto raps is like a law or a hot dog (meaning?) Mark Whitaker figures is getting blocked, dog And you can stalk my blog, you can blah blah blah But if you do it to my face you can all sod off (get thee hence) KTP's not your average bear I got real life issues and I battle them there You want to rat me out? I guess I give like half of a care I just got way meaner shit than all of that in my hair (hence, kid, hence) You just a sad-ass nebbish or a hoodlum Acting like your P.I. routine was a good one Psh yeah, fuck I look like? Robert Ludlum? So I'm a bad liar, I ain't tryna be a good one (Chorus)
(Verse 1) The Almighty, God of the "bite me" garage band swagger When I ball, do it slightly (yeah) You better than me, I think it not at all likely I just talks to your girl, gettin all up in her psyche (yeah yeah yeah) Six shiksas in a big truck, talking 'bout pimp cups, ain't nobody playing with the chips up (nope) Hit butt, dip, do it sick, Bernie Rose shit, what (what) Leave you lying in garages with your wrist cut (cut cut) Kid, fuck you if you in "it for the lulz" (yep) and you isn't winning if you in it for the gulls (gulls) Listen, I'll shimmer and evolve (volve) but you fucking with the paper Imma get you in the balls (ow) Get a job or get involved, (yep) like Sean P said Finna get the green, no weedhead Finna go from AMD (beep) to AMG (vroom) and I'm working for the day when that ain't make-believe (hah) (Chorus) The Almighty, fall to your knees Old man with an apple be up all in the trees Indeed, you ain’t getting knowledge for free It’s why tell them that the rap shidit’s all in the steez The Almighty, best in the game Hit up mc chris and he could tell you the same Buto on the bars, Nick Kwas on the fiddling Makkon on the beat, good God we be killing ‘em (Verse 2) Rap god, beast lurking in the black bog Got too many raps now, working on my backlog ‘Se to the Bay, Caltrain to the last stop Imma hunt your ass down, training my attack frog Makkon in the back, dog, playing the conductor You ragging on the track, Imma make you into mustard Y’all always wanna know and ask what I’m up ter? Macking in the back of a Mack truck at Rutgers Mad rap, welcome to the Terrordome Grab that mic, you ain’t aite, coroner gonna need a HAZMAT Indeed, due to my very known status I’m in a tweed suit with the herringbone fabric Hype too, snapback and a bright shoe (ooh) Quite coo, kick rap cause I like to Best troll, should have figured this after I pissed off Jus Allah with a diss meant for Kaiju (Chorus) (Verse 3) You shouldn’t be betting that I never would get you for your beats, kill ‘em better than you ever could Californ shit, a vet up in the redwoods Monterey Bay, there ain't been a wetter hood Nerdcore shit, hax with a hash dump Slip up in the whip, dip, mash to some rad funk Told you its a black Accent with a hatch trunk chump, little rap sticker slapped on the back bump Crack dunks, that’s a pair of Nikes that I like, bruh Telling you the City paradise like Haifa Any biter fronting on the writes is getting diced up thrice Wanna say that I’m incisive? You right The reason that I rap, is the reason why you fap ...ulous people are always finna peep another track Alrighty, chill and drink a chilled or an iced tea I am the Almighty of writes, please! (Chorus)
Spetsanaz 05:16
(Verse 1) It ain’t time for some action It’s time for some rapping Like back when kicking a rap was what was happening I’m giving daps and hanging out with cool folks Here’s a science fact: an oviraptor drools yolks because it eats eggs although recently that theory has been challenged based on new interpretations of the fossil record and I’m hot on record, MP3 and yo I never get played, like a bent CD I spent last month eating ice cream listening to Paul’s Botique, weeping thinking about the god Yauch, he taught me to go nards out in raps and in life, go hard with what you’se all about In all bouts, kill it with the quickness Fuck a verbal anime, lyrical Stanley Ipkiss and when I rip this, I can’t say this is just a business when Buto make the DJ spin it like a discus (Chorus) My middle name must be “Lets Collab” ‘cause every time that I walk by, y’all are all like “let’s collab!” Get the text? (Yeah) I expect the raps are finna make them backflip like the Spets-a-naz My middle name must be “I Dissed You” ‘cause every time that I log in, y’all are all like “I dissed you!” That’s a sentiment that I’m hip to but it still don’t make me really want to rhyme with you (Verse 2) sim simma, who’s got the keys to my Beamer? Jack move, that’s how we act when we team up Beam up, no Kirk, but I would bone a alien You want a sixteen? Hurry up and pay me then I do it for the yayper, I don’t do it for my health Track making ten tens, Imma diss you, never make amends You ain’t a rapper, you ain’t even good at aping them Listen, I know Darth Vader, you just have a Vader pen Think again, dead men never blink again I bought a Total Blender just so I could drink your friends I even told them about your Pinkamena kink and then Will it blend? Shit, put it by the sink and rend Wipe it up with Shamwow, spread a little Oxyclean Said I was a proper fiend, dead you if you talk to me and like Captain Spaulding, Imma get leaving because your raps are giving me that not-so-fresh feeling (Chorus) (Verse 3) Ayn Rand got books out the anal gland (Um, you say it “Ayn”) Ayo, look, you’re being anal man Rather read Chomsky anyway but you can emigrate to Peter Thiel’s magical island (yay!) Spend the day! Anyway, my raps are better than your raps, et cetera, of course, you’re a veteran doormat Your beats, well, you can take excedrin for that I only diss cause your shittiness engenders the format You wrote raps just like me but yours lack that nicety but it’s more that you’re whiny I’m bored that you tried me You sore that I’m slightly more dope than you? Bite me I’ll air pump your dome piece...Cormac McCarthy Challengers lucky if they don’t get blocked Like, unless you’re Poopy, Buto won’t get got So all you Juggalos, wifebeaters, hopefuls and tots: ain’t no use in stepping if you don’t step hot (Chorus)
(Kabuto) The nice guy's a special breed of man and you might know a couple So I thought I'd break it down and maybe show what's up to anybody interested, and if you get intercepted by the aforementioned cat then you'll prolly predict the rest of this but I ain't tryna be clever or chuck a plot twist I'm tryna write a rap about nice guys, I got this The guys who probably dying just to lock lips It's awkward, and some say they toxic, to be honest, well maybe the niceness is in the beholder's optics and it ain't my intention to try to patrol your top picks I mean, that's the point really, crossfit jock or not it's not the proper place for anyone but y'all to cop control, yep Mister Nice Guy however takes some exception to the fact that anyone might never crave his affection Liking your Facebook pics, hoping that you'll make the connection I wouldn't hug him hi, he's probly got a raging (objection!) (Chorus - Kabuto) You might think he's like your next of kin (Mister Nice Guy) He's telling people that you friendzoned him (Mister Nice Guy) Check your Facebook, man, he's there (Mister Nice Guy) He's been saving up your strands of hair (Mister Nice Guy) He thinks your boyfriends are cads and louts (Mister Nice Guy) He ain't never gonna ask you out (Mister Nice Guy) He's acting like he's your good friend but that ain't what he's looking for in the end, not Mister Nice Guy
Yo, Science 03:50
(Intro - Guy on Youtube Reading Isaac Asimov) There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there always has been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that "my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge." (Chorus - Mr. Wheels & Kabuto the Python) [Ali G - "Yo, science...what is it all about?"] [Richard Dawkins - "Evidence"] [Ali G - "Is it good, or is it wack? Yo..."] [Neil DeGrasse Tyson - "Science"] [Fiorello LaGuardia - "What does it all mean?"] [Richard Dawkins - "Reason"] [Nigel Lambert - "Look around you"] [Ghostface Killah - "I revolve around sciences"] Yo, science [Ali G - "What is it all about?"] [Richard Dawkins - "Evidence"] Ayo it's science [Ali G - "Is it good, or is it wack?"] Ayo it's science [Bill Nye - "Science"] [Fiorello LaGuardia - "What does it all mean?"] Ayo it's science [Nigel Lambert - "Look around you"] [Ghostface Killah - "I revolve around sciences"] (Verse 1) Ayo, science Lots of people want to ban it and even those who love it often do not understand it so can it, Kabuto's about to get his science on and discuss some popular misconceptions and say why they're wrong For example: human evolution is a subject that makes me want to shoot a huge hadouken like when an atheist is all debating a creationist on evolution making mad mistakes as they're explaining it Like, people think that evolution happens on a scale and that a human's more evolved and therefore better than a whale Not so There is no end point of all creation, just selection for an ever-changing niche--it's adaptation Second, that selection happens over greater populations it's an average, not a direct sign of deformation so if stupid people die, you shouldn't let it fuel your narcisissm Listen smug fuck, it's due to luck more than to Darwinism Another thing is cancer, and not to say I love it but every year I see a chain letter sent by some kid that says that new experiments have cured it in a mouse but that Big Pharma doesn't want to let us all find out By now they've got to have a couple dozen different cures and if that were true, you bet it would be scandalous for sure only what helps a mouse get better rarely helps a person so a healthy mouse is just another lead that's kinda working Good news, but not a cure for cancer--no conspiracy, just press releases trying to get some funding, are you feeling me? And pandas are bears, Yellowstone ain’t gonna blow and if a shark attacks you, punch it in the gills and not the nose (Chorus) (Verse 2) Next, let me run it down, let you know what’s up with the climate change, some of y’all got it mad fucked up First, scientists, including in the National Academy were aware of global warming at least as far back as the seventies Speaking of which, “global warming” is a fair term to use-- although local temps may seem just to fluctuate to you, the average global trend in temperatures is pointing upward causing greater variation among highs and lows We suffer from an ill-informed community of pundits, who trumpet the views of some dissenters who only number in the hundreds The percent of climatologists endorsing the consensus is in the very high nineties been high since like the nineties Some cite the panic over global cooling in ‘76 as evidence that scientists are, every now and then, full of shit but the panic then was minimal, consensus nonexistent so don't suggest that this is something to compare--because it isn't Some will tell you it's a natural cycle. and if you peep the long-term graphs you can imagine it if you try to but while climate cycles do occur, they happen very slowly and none account for rapid warming on this scale, so they can blow me And every scientific organization of any standing has endorsed the view that climate change is something we have a hand in Dissenters take their papes from Shell or Exxon just to get work but there’s really no debate among the reputable experts (Chorus)
(Kabuto the Python) Yo, I got two boots and a hella lotta faces I don't like lookin at me, damn, ayo Schaffses (Schaffer the Darklord) Hey, what’s up Kabuto? (Kabuto the Python) Whatcha think that we should do? (Schaffer the Darklord) Make the motherfucking Face-Kicking Song Part Two! Ite (Schaffer the Darklord) Boot plus face! (Kabuto the Python) Yeah, I get it, stop harping. Imma kick em in the face with the Timbs (Schaffer the Darklord) Or Doc Martins! (Kabuto the Python) Yeah, leave a heavy duty sole printed on the noggin (Schaffer the Darklord) More specifically, the face (Kabuto the Python) A.K.A. the bit that do the talking. How many I kicked so far? (Schaffer the Darklord) Well, I’ve got a million (Kabuto the Python) Nice, whatcha think of that, Mark? (Schaffer the Darklord) I think that's a lot of kicking (Kabuto the Python) Oh, and know the Nobel? (Schaffer the Darklord) Yeah? (Kabuto the Python) Hell, I'm probably winning (Schaffer the Darklord) Why? (Kabuto the Python) Because I found a quick and easy cure for prognathism (get it?) (Schaffer the Darklord) Don't tell the Hapsburgs! (Kabuto the Python) Schaffer, you're a mad nerd (Schaffer the Darklord) Yeah, word (Kabuto the Python) What I'd ever wanna kick em in the nads for? Face-kick Kabutishly (Schaffer the Darklord) I haven't heard of that word! (Kabuto the Python) It means “in the manner of Kabuto,” it's an adverb (Chorus - Kabuto the Python) Kick em (kick em) kick em (kick em) Kick em (kick em) kick em in the face, kid (Schaffer the Darklord) This little piggie got with four little piggies and they all had mad beef, and they got all kicky in your face (Kabuto the Python) In your face! (Schaffer the Darklord) In your motherfucking face! Two feets dropping beats under thunderous bass Instead of scare rap tactics on you, fuck it I said I'm Fred Astaire, tap-dancing on the front of your head Kabuto mang? (Kabuto the Python) You rang? (Schaffer the Darklord) What you got, dude? (Kabuto the Python) Two fangs! (Schaffer the Darklord) Ooh, dang, bicycle kick up on you (Both) Liu Kang! (Schaffer the Darklord) I come from Queens, and I'm repping the place Won't even kick you, Imma knock you down and step on your face I go hammering your hamlets, pillaging your villages Kick you where it hurts (Kabuto the Python) Where? (Schaffer the Darklord) Right up in your privelege with the illest shit! (Kabuto the Python) Yeah (Schaffer the Darklord) Hit you like it's 9/11! (Kabuto the Python) Damn (Schaffer the Darklord) Kick you in the face with a pair of size elevens! (Kabuto the Python) That's a big shoe (Schaffer the Darklord) It's true, and what they say of it too STD, Kabuto gonna get you (Both) Kick you in the face! (Chorus) (Schaffer the Darklord) Yes indeed you see that KTP's the flyest, meanest Call me STD and kiss on my Adidas, with your nose (Kabuto the Python) With your nose! (Schaffer the Darklord) With your motherfucking nose! Timbos on the toes, this is how it goes You vain prick, you're weak, all right? (Kabuto the Python) No, we aren't friends (Schaffer the Darklord) My crane kick technique is tight (Kabuto the Python) No can defense (Schaffer the Darklord) You get silenced by violence, put you in your place quick and we got (Both) Buckets and buckets, buckets of fucking face-kicking! (Kabuto the Python) Like I said, I won't kick em in the nuts, cause it's been done (Schaffer the Darklord) What about the Muay Thai? (Kabuto the Python) Kick em with my shin, son Kick em eating dim sum, kick em in the chin Kung fu about to leave a rapper looking like the Simpsons (Schaffer the Darklord) Kick you with my steel-toes (Kabuto the Python) For real, they’re gonna feel those, Schaffer-- (Schaffer the Darklord) --and the snake-- (Kabuto the Python) --kicking faces and the real flows (Schaffer the Darklord) So... (Kabuto the Python) If you’re hating, acting racist, or vexing We’re about to kick you in the face (Both) No question! (Chorus)
(Verse 1 - Kabuto the Python) Oh you finna be a tough guy? How? You finna bust like "blaow" or fisticuff? Ite, wow Listen man, it's gonna be a rough night now when I throw you out a chopper flying upside down I'm tryna shoot peeps with abundant ease Til the NRA's finna give me guns for free I hope your dick gets stung by a hundred bees while I roll up in the club rocking dungarees You're about to leave in bandages, guy I'm gonna slam you with a frying pan and damage your spine until the mantle is mine, and then at 7 or 9 I'll come to the hospital and rub sand in your eyes Yo, don't you the way I body your neighbors'll put the army out of work, like psychology majors Mopping up later, I'll ring Obama "Yo player you know those drones you done built, I need to call in a favor" (Chorus) [Kabuto] Yo it’s Kabuto and my man's finna hurt you a lot and any jerk that's on our block that could get merked on the spot [Poopyhands] Ain't no telling which person we'll chop Gonna make 'em fall quicker than a turd when it drop [Kabuto] We're gonna hit you til you're covered with the purply spots and ain't no remedy for this whether it's herbal or not [Poopyhands] Certainly hot, man you heard what we got so prepare for impact as we serve you the shots (Verse 2 - Poopyhands) My shit goes hard, eating plenty of fiber Come out guns blazing, for real said I’m on fire I don’t think your lady’s parts couldn’t get any tighter Got her wet and wild while we having sex on the dryer I never left a trace when I was spreading her legs and she always came first like I was second in place Once I’m done I tell her get the fucking hell out my face and I’m quick to blame it solely on my adventurous ways Me and Kabuto like raiders up in the lost ark while you fruity dude faker than some pop tarts With your artificial flavor, that is not hard I stay funky like the vapors from a hot fart Prepare to be catching wind Cause we’re at it again, give the track a spin It’s time to kick him in the shin and laugh at him Kabuto, come and tell em what’s happening (Chorus) (Verse 3 - Kabuto & Poopy) [Kabuto] And if they say that pain is weakness when it's leaving the body you'll be the strongest man alive right when you're eating my shotty because I'm evil and naughty, plus hella creepy cause probably I learned from Poopyhands way back when he was keeping it potty Listen, anybody jocking the steez, I mean You better hope Kabut don't take a glock to your knees Plus pull out your toenails while you vomit and wheeze and then I'll grind em up and tell you that it's parmesan cheese [Poopyhands] Feel it in the air like a fart in the breeze Hot flows out the ass like I’m scarfing the beans We making cuts that are sharp as can be We armed to the teeth so don’t try to argue with me Beware the spinal cord because it might just tear I guess it’s safe to say we ain’t fighting fair I format you assholes when I wipe em there
(Kabuto) Dear everybody--guests that I wrote on the list Thanks for being on my song, y'all are doper than shit and whether you be sipping cola or be smoking the piff you ought to know that this collabo was my Kokoro Wish Biggest posse track, thought it would be tough to sell but you all showed up and now I'm chuffed as hell The guest list definitely stuffed the bill (ho ho ho) and now we finna party like a Hutt cartel
(Verse 1) I used to read Control-Alt-Delete Yeah, I know, but I was thirteen or so and yo, I thought it was sweet and I was awkward and meek, into these comics for geeks Put in a Star Wars reference and I'm probably piqued Yo, I read Penny Arcade, isn't it lame I used to only read the ones about the video games I wasn't spitting no game, probably don't need to explain because I get the feeling some of y’all done did it the same I used to read Sluggy Freelance as a kid Riff and Torg and Aylee and Bun-Bun were the shit That was, what, back in aught-one or aught-two It was all right, if you wanna read Sluggy you ought to Furries had Better Days--incest and Ayn Rand and TwoKinds's fanbase never thought it kinda bland I ain’t fucks with all that, but Lackadaisy Cats is still my shit I'll three-finger smack a hater (Slap!!!) (Chorus) Support your favorite webcomic, else they ain’t eating White Ninja, Doctor McNinja stay sneaking Problem Sleuth, Homestuck, Gunshow--way decent Plus, innumerable big ups to Kate Beaton Ayo, when's Tom Siddell gonna put more shit for sale? Dresden Codak, Octopus Pie, The Chipper Whale TopatoCo and all of the strips that it entails Wonderella, Achewood, Digger, and other tales (Verse 2) In high school, I was all about the Dinosaur Comics because the dinosaurs were dope and the writing was flawless T-rex was ‘bout it, stomping mad anachronisms but he'd always get his shit shut down by raptor wisdom No beef, but though I never messed with any Clark Kent I'd hop up on Safari for some Questionable Content I read it for a year before it lost its interest to me Honestly, I think I started cause I thought there would be boobies Overcompensating, course Wigu was my boy I loved the little yellow thingy who was made out of poison They sold him as a toy son Crass? It’s debatable They got a hundred comic shirts for sale up on TopatoCo Perry Bible Fellowship was doper than most I remember when it used to update with multiple posts and I read some underground shit: Thinkin’ Lincoln, mad sick Wondermark, Gaming Guardians and Reprographics (Chorus) (Verse 3) These days it's Gunnerkrigg Court, because it stays dope and Prequel, when either updates pages, I’m way stoked Katja Donlan and Managan be my fave folks Hope the latter manages to stay up off the rape jokes, a strip that really's an inimitable mixture of heartsick and wistful and silly The little baby fox motherfucker killed me I copped the book, support for Charles Christopher, you feel me? I got heat (no Charlie Heston) for cats who trace pics and flaunt degrees like Tom Preston And on the topic of strips I'm not reading: Fuck misogynist apologist shit like Dom Deegan and that Tarol Hunt guy is a slimy jerk I would be saying that even if I liked his work Ayo The Meek's great, crazy, and at times berserk and I’m tryna make the time to read Delilah Dirk (Chorus)
(Verse 1 - Verdauga) British motherfuckers bound to shout "the guy's barmey" while I chill in Kotir with the Thousand Eye Army Proudly I, couched with 5,000 fly mamis tout divine powers, live rowdy, die calmly Sigil flap stiched to my flags atop towers Dynasty the peak of the cats in Mossflower Burning oil plotting strategics at odd hours with the otter clans trading me weapons for raw powder Zweihander strapped to the flank, collecting tax for the ranks I got some rats with some shanks that need to eat, kid Listen, bastard I ain't, protect your asses Give thanks that for a cat I'm a saint, we in agreement A. I run my fortress with ease, I run the forest and trees, I thunder forcibly B. You men are mice, though I used to bump AOTP, I'm kinda playing their beat and writing graciously Steez is hella maestro (Chorus) And y'all rats, kid (rats, kid) All up in my bubble talking that shit (that shit) I knew that you were trouble but this cat kid (cat kid) is a motherfucker you don't scrap with, motherfucker Motherfucker it's Verdauga, the Lord of Kotir as I command it It's Verdauga (the green-eyed bandit, can't stand it) It's Verdauga with the Thousand Eye Army, god damn it, It's Verdauga (Verse 2 - Martin) This shit is half fanfiction, other half grand diction Wandering far from my home and clan, miss them And remembering the smell of a rose is damn sickening Ambushed, to the hilt of the blade my hand quickens The Thousand Eyes glimmer twixt trees from all around me, surround me Dope but outmatched, I'm beaten soundly Verdauga Greeneyes decries and treats me lousy I'm on it though, link with C.O.R.I.M. and meet the mousethief 'Scape into the forest, skip the gate and we run Meet the skipper in alliance with some atheist nuns and deep in Brockhall, the critters all are majorly bummed It seems the coup of Tsarmina means the capers is done But I ain't playing for fun, the name is Martin, son of Luke the legend We can talk about your fucking vittles and your soup in heaven Dip to Badger Mountain, I ain't tryna hear your stupid reverend Re-forge my sword with a star that fell, a super weapon (Chorus) (Verse 3 - Bane) Scimitar, scabbard and mind to use it promptly In it for the cash and dash, finna be gone, see, and pay a couple rabbity sops to do my laundry with ale in my chalice and sipping beneath a palm tree My men are threescore strong with a couple dozen oak strongboxes in which we store arms Known to Verdauga, now we fight for his daughter because the cat done made a generous offer The name is Bane and I march with my sixty-odd weasels on the woods Doing evil for the good of my people with the goods Verdauga would've won it, but his seed they never could hence, deceit is what I would--less a eagle get my hood Told her that I'm down for the cause, but i'm lying Backstabber, strike with the speed of the sky's lighting Fighter, I do it for me or I die trying Damned to die proud, die free, die flying (Chorus) Thousand Eyes, march
Kabutojira 04:36
(Verse 1) Kabuto is a monster, chomping all your little squashy noggins Off it's poppin, cop a concrete bunker and I'll stomp it all in Gotta understand that me and Billy got a lot in common Leviathan will get you, Butojira is a raucous swamp thing Roar as they retreat my path, sort of nice the scheme is sleep with shorties with a preacher dad, cordially retrieve my hat and court her if he be decent, if he don't I scheme to beat his ass Not much into reefer but i'll break a coral reef in half Pregnant with a hungry fetus, if you think "that one gon eat us" way to go then buddy, see, cause you're a motherfucking genius First kaiju in bloody sneakers, Nike dunks I snub Adidas Y'all be on the run beneath us, somethin like some Thumbelinas Fuck a neural handshake, little Jaeger get a face of acid Save the plastic Gobots for your kids, I'm finna stay unmastered Stomp a honkey saying "ratchet," your awfullest day I'll match it Think that life's a party? Hardly, sorry, well today I crashed it (Chorus) Kabutojira is my monster name I stomp about and leave the planet in some constant pain and if you fuckos try to stop me with your bombs and planes I'll hit the capitals of every nation, y'all be slain (Verse 2) Hit me with an oil tanker? I don't think that that would work Buy your dinky gats, ya jerk, I shatter window glass when irked Tryna craft my work but I have to murder masses first Other kaiju feel me, when I rap they twerk and crack the earth Back to work, bet the breath'll burn your grass or astroturf You mad? I'll turn and slap a ratty klurf back to his daddy's birth Moses turning back the surf, battleships sunk at their berths Acting worse, Kabuto is mad and writing raps at work Track's a fucking masterwork but I am just a damn typhoon Mans impugn the status, leave em bandaged with they tendons hewn Nicki type of Monster rap that y'all cant hold a candle to Your cannons boom but cannot do no damage to my mantle dude Citizen Kabuto, Giant, courtesy of Planet Moon Cram bamboo cause y'all will go extinct like all the pandas do I would say your planet's doomed, moon get body slammed at noon and this should find a place among my very illest jams and tunes (Chorus) If you gon fuck with a monster like me be forewarned: I, kabutojira, will step on your house!
(Verse 1) Ayo they keep eyes on this J-Street zionist Take me, I will get eighteen nines and clips Maybe I'll regret spraying these minor threats facing finely prepped crazy violent deaths Probably not though, really might go drastic No Juggalo, ill and psychopathic You know you love it though, skill is likely mastered Never call the 5-0, villains with the badges Hit em with some rad shit, kill em with the madness Sittin in a black six, skrilla in the back, dip Villain and a bad dick, silly like a rabbit and thinking that your track isn't illy--you are average Yeah, I am sick with the multi cheesing Chillin with your mom it is simply a sultry evening Then again I'll extend it to all the weekend With tennis and probably skiing and rimming and chugging semen (Chorus) I got styles styles styles styles F f f f for miles miles miles miles miles L l l l like the like the Nile Nile Nile Leaving wack rappers in denial (Verse 2) Ayo you nah cop clues Fucking ras claat foos, never on top noobs Spoiler alert: I ain't no soft mark who Ain't gonna Robb Stark you and your small dog too Two hand specialty, stididitch your dome piece You, damn, hella weak, diddling a pony Brony, feta cheese innards on the floor, B Phonies better please simper to the O.G. Act right, mad nice, shit on nice or wack writes Hobbit shit: that's, like, finna break a fast twice Gats ice hack types, hidden with a mask I clap twice, stab tykes, hit em with a Maglite Shattered bulb in oculars A rapper that is hot for sure? I'm grabbing your binoculars and travelling to his spot to merk Blasting any officers, attack they helicopters and roll up to your crib so I can shit on your face
(Chorus) The Almighty, God of the wri-ting Type clean, type hype bars on a tight-beam It's gotta be a tight team, right? Type Spike Lee, come on, do the right thing Bars on a tight-beam The Almighty, God of the wri-ting Type clean, type hype bars on a tight-beam Bling, that is some slight thing to the right wing Light stage lights late night so the mic gleam


The first full-length LP from Kabuto, featuring all-original production by Variant.

This DELUXE EDITION features lossless audio, plus three bonus tracks and acapella and instrumental versions of the songs. (The acapellas and instrumentals don't show up on the streaming playlist, but they are included when you download the album)

The FREE EDITION of this album is available here:


released August 9, 2013

The Almighty. Executive produced by Kabuto the Python. Lyrics and vocals by Kabuto the Python + instrumentals by Variant. Additional production on tracks 1, 8, 10, 14, 15, and 16 by Beat Czar Kasparov. Additional sequencing and guitar on track 2 by Beaker. Additional sequencing on track 5 by Makkon, and violin by Nick Kwas. Additional vocals by Shael Riley, Viet Vu, Jesse Dangerously, Vanilla Rice, Shubzilla, Schaffer the Darklord, Poopyhands, Adam WarRock, Int80, SayHi, Da Silky Slimz, Old Snake Da CQC MC, Beefy, Whoremoans, The Scrub Club All-Stars, Navi, The Ranger, Mikal KHill, Billy the Fridge, Random, Jesse Dangerously, the Wordburglar, MC Frontalot, and Rappy McRapperson. Album art by Daniel Ben-Yohanan.


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Kabuto the Python New York, New York

Kabuto is a rude reptilian creature from beyond the outer reaches of the solar system.

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