The Almighty (Deluxe Edition)

by Kabuto the Python

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The first full-length LP from Kabuto, featuring all-original production by Variant.

This DELUXE EDITION features lossless audio, plus three bonus tracks and acapella and instrumental versions of the songs. (The acapellas and instrumentals don't show up on the streaming playlist, but they are included when you download the album)

The FREE EDITION of this album is available here:


released August 9, 2013

The Almighty. Executive produced by Kabuto the Python. Lyrics and vocals by Kabuto the Python + instrumentals by Variant. Additional production on tracks 1, 8, 10, 14, 15, and 16 by Beat Czar Kasparov. Additional sequencing and guitar on track 2 by Beaker. Additional sequencing on track 5 by Makkon, and violin by Nick Kwas. Additional vocals by Shael Riley, Viet Vu, Jesse Dangerously, Vanilla Rice, Shubzilla, Schaffer the Darklord, Poopyhands, Adam WarRock, Int80, SayHi, Da Silky Slimz, Old Snake Da CQC MC, Beefy, Whoremoans, The Scrub Club All-Stars, Navi, The Ranger, Mikal KHill, Billy the Fridge, Random, Jesse Dangerously, the Wordburglar, MC Frontalot, and Rappy McRapperson. Album art by Daniel Ben-Yohanan.



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Kabuto the Python New York, New York

Kabuto is a rude reptilian creature from beyond the outer reaches of the solar system.

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Track Name: Kabuto Kabuto
Kabuto Kabuto, Kabuto Kabuto
Kabuto Kabuto, Kabuto Kabuto
Kabuto Kabuto, Kabuto Buto Kabuto
Kabuto Buto Kabuto, Kabuto Buto Kabuto

(Verse 1)
Get up on a beat like this
and I make it happen
With a little rapping action
Give dap and slap half-ten for the backspin
Hop up in a black Accent and I'm mashing
Ditching all the crap-ass wack gay bashing,
Still, I got the mask and raps and smacking
KTP the microphone type assassin
Talented and dashing, smashing
Y'all just lacking everything you need to be rapping
That and you're acting so what's happening
Think you is a badass like Sam Jackson? Nah son
You ain't even Action Jackson
Flap gums, get it to the grill
like a dad with some shrinkwrapped hot dogs
in Cats And Dogs, I wish the cats won


(Verse 2)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah son, better get a day job walking cats
or, maybe you could be a ship captain
Not flattery, way you tryna act all African
You're just harassing them
Want a verse, get a beat that's past just slapping
Ask me then, you'll get a rap in ten ten ten ten ten
Track Name: World's Worst Nerdcore Rapper (feat. Shael Riley & The Incredible Beaker Band)
(Shael Riley)
I know a man in a mask
I know a man in a mask knows trouble
finds no salvation from sin
If you carried his load,
if you walked with his bundle,
you wouldn't want to be him

(Kabuto the Python)
So I dig rap, wear a fitted cap and some Nikes
Neff hoodie, Neff hater blockers and a white tee
Nerdy but not riding for my people like I'm Spike Lee
I don't really like white demons but they like me
I like Soulja Boy, Jay, Nicki and Kanyeezy
Drake too, Gucci and Waka, and Young Jeezy
No weeaboo, I like Weezy and not chibis
I like Based God saying he's people from on TV
I fuck with Ke$ha more than Dessa, hella, Yela
more than Tech and dig Umbrella (ella) ella (ella) ella (ella) ey
I like Justin Bieber
Even though you fuckers think he's such a weiner
Really though, feeling like some things ain't straight
how the nerds like me, I like things they hate
Yall corniness has brought me to the brink today
and ain't really nothing I can think to say, leggo

(Shael Riley)
I know a man in a mask
I know a man in a mask knows fallback
tired and empty is he
As the python slinks back to his den
heavy is the head that wears the ball cap
Take it from old KTP

(Kabuto the Python)
Feeling like for real my disposition's not sunny
I think pirates, even zombies and ninjas aren't funny
I hate Hot Topic type shirts with the with the clever quips
And when I say "clever" what I mean is they are never this
Mad? I ain't finna bring the tune to a end though
and I ain't never played a fucking Super Nintendo
I ain't even played a single Mario game
I think that Star Trek is boring, and that Sonic is lame
Yo I think that Ron Paul is a shithead
Voted for Obama and I got what the tin said
And if you ain't pissed yet the rest should do
You say you "fucking hate chavs," no respect for you
Not a DnDer, I ain't never read fantasy
and I still have yet to see a well-written anime
Yo I know the scene is like a proper big family
but this the type of shit I would have thought'd scare my fans away

(Shael Riley)
I know a man in a mask
I know a man who's a space invader
I know a man from Vietnam
I know a man who's dark
I know a man beyond salvation
I know a man-python

(Kabuto the Python)
MC Lars: kind of a pariah, and Buto
do not really bump the music but I likes his views
And I am nobody and really ain't got shite to lose
but if you want me on a diss, then I might refuse
Ayo, these days I'm on a bell hooks tip
and through that prism, many of you, well, look shit
like Danimal Cannon who had the nerve to tell me he ain't
a bigot while decked out in everything except for grease paint
Ignorant fucks are gonna notice this sadist
Catch me up on Tumblr reading "Yo, Is This Racist?"
Talentless minstrels who flow a bit Amos
And you're acting like that tip is really dope and shit?
If you're lucky you might see me bump a Front CD
but most the rest of you all do not get no truck from me
Ayo, pleased to meet you, I yearns to smack yer
I'm Kabuto, the world's worst nerdcore rapper

(Shael Riley)
I know a man in a mask
I know a man who's beyond salvation
I know a man from Vietnam
I know a man who's dark
I know a man who's a space invader
I know a man who'll soon be gone
I know Kabuto the Python
Track Name: Pit Vipers (feat. Viet Vu)
(Hook - Kabuto the Python)
Pit (pit) vipe (vipe) erss (erss) ssssss (ssssss)
Buto, Viet Vu, vipers loose from the zoo
Pit (pit) vipe (vipe) erss (erss) ssssss (ssssss)
Quiet on the set, Imma bite em in the neck

(Kabuto the Python)
It's Kabuto the Snake, the pit viper
Plus the Python, write on and spit tighter
Bright with Nikons, light on, the pic sniper
DSLR Rebel XTi that click nicer
Wait, no photography rap, the god is rocking the track
and Mazel Toving, kick back and pop a bottle of Jack
I know a lot of you wack and proper awful at rap
It ain't a novelty that y'all ogle
Bugging like I'm Archduke Poggle the Lesser
You could get gobbled in the dark like if you bothered a leopard
because the MCs I eat up all of them
Never without my (gasp) Heinz bottle and the salt and the pepper
I sink a fang up in your face, let you vomit and shiver
and I will show your mama I am charming at dinner
and if you cannot keep a beat well then you aren't a good spitter
It ain't a motherfucking case of "better tardy than never"


(Kabuto the Python)
S.C. or outer space, home is where the heart is
but you can catch me rolling up in Oakland where the BART is
Scope you in the darkness, poke you in the heart with a sharp stick
Best you better hope I'm only heartless

(Viet Vu)
You are so hopeless, we are so focused
Put down the needle cuz you're fucking with the dopest
Hocus pocus, plague you like locusts
Change your whole life--Mr. Holland's opus

(Kabuto the Python)
Get the strap, I'm finna Attack The Block
B-b-b-brap brap brap, yeah, blast a shot
But I don't really give a fuck if you can clap the Glock
and if you even wear a helmet Imma gnash the top
and I'm a astronaut, kicking raps for the galaxies
mad Andromedans think I'm sick like a malady
Crack mind, knowledge of rhyme expand rapidly
Studying the art under an Andalite faculty

(Viet Vu)
See me change forms, I'm so reptilian
Cold blooded, fire-hearted, getting so furious
Delirious, and a little bit mysterious
Lost in a void like Eerie, Indiana is
I'm the un-aired, unseen, sofa king
See you in the airwaves, this is just an air raid
And I'm taking over moving like Casanova
I'm about to blow up when you add some baking soda
I experiment with no experience
Gotta bring my A game, don't touch my bayonet
It's pointless, we'll poison the noiseless
A two headed beast like conjoined twins
The python, the brainiac, men like maniacs
Poems more epic than the fucking Iliad
This an Odyssey, to an odd degree
Einstein mind with a little mediocrity


(Kabuto the Python)
K for Kabuto, A for Almighty, B for a Boot that'll kick it like Trevor Likely
U is for Underground, T is for Type-B, Oh, you ain't effing with the writes?
You can bite me!
I used to kick dicey flows
and looking back I kinda think my old shit slightly blows
I could have stepped back from the prow
but I just buckled down, got my bars up and now I
grasp what I lacked in the past, I'm the best
writing tracks in the back of an Acura Legend
and tactically pensive but nasty with dense shits
Raps are intense, leave them bastards defenseless
I am on the job, make the wack and horrendous
cry and put the drops in the black where my pen dips
I ain't gonna stop till the racks in the tens
Kid's flying to the top cause I'm back with a vengeance!

Track Name: Get Thee Hence
(Verse 1)
I know I said it, fuck weather, y'all soft like duck feathers
and the type of shmucks who switch up fonts for subheaders
That shit is bush league, mafukker, I'm much better
Finna cause you discomfort, like under a rough sweater (get thee hence)
Fuck these state-sanctioned Saint Nicks and tree ornaments
and fuck a dog owner kvetching about the leash ordinance (get thee hence)
Fuck an MQ-1 drone with beast ordnance and
congressfolk who move on gay rights like weak tortoises (get thee hence)
Fuck Wade and Dial, right? How you stop an orca?
Double fuck Johnny Test, right now I'm watching Korra
I give a fucks if you from Moscow or Glocca Morra
fucker, fuck you if you hate snapbacks but rock fedoras (get thee hence)
You're probably even stinky when compared to butts
Fuck the classrooms that made me sit in chairs that suck
Fuck the pioneers who slaughtered all the bears and such
Fuck a rapper if he swear too much, get the fuck out

Yo I hate a lot of shit, that's the brand, thats my thing dude
Positivity is hella bland, I aint being rude
but fuck you, everything I say is accurate, lad
Some of the stuff you probably like is really actually bad
Now get thee hence
Yeah, get thee hence
Get thee hence
Get thee hence kid, hence
Get thee hence

(Verse 2)
Yo listen (it's like this) I'm a rapper, I don't exist (right)
I'm a figment, a mystery, if this (nothing)
Some of y'all tryna get your kisser in my bidness (get thee hence)
Listen, I ain't with this, for shiznits, listen kids
Kabuto raps is like a law or a hot dog (meaning?)
Mark Whitaker figures is getting blocked, dog
And you can stalk my blog, you can blah blah blah
But if you do it to my face you can all sod off (get thee hence)
KTP's not your average bear
I got real life issues and I battle them there
You want to rat me out? I guess I give like half of a care
I just got way meaner shit than all of that in my hair (hence, kid, hence)
You just a sad-ass nebbish or a hoodlum
Acting like your P.I. routine was a good one
Psh yeah, fuck I look like? Robert Ludlum?
So I'm a bad liar, I ain't tryna be a good one

Track Name: The Almighty (feat. Nick Kwas & Makkon)
(Verse 1)
The Almighty,
God of the "bite me" garage band swagger
When I ball, do it slightly (yeah)
You better than me, I think it not at all likely
I just talks to your girl, gettin all up in her psyche (yeah yeah yeah)
Six shiksas in a big truck, talking 'bout
pimp cups, ain't nobody playing with the chips up (nope)
Hit butt, dip, do it sick, Bernie Rose shit, what (what)
Leave you lying in garages with your wrist cut (cut cut)
Kid, fuck you if you in "it for the lulz" (yep)
and you isn't winning if you in it for the gulls (gulls)
Listen, I'll shimmer and evolve (volve)
but you fucking with the paper
Imma get you in the balls (ow)
Get a job or get involved, (yep) like Sean P said
Finna get the green, no weedhead
Finna go from AMD (beep) to AMG (vroom)
and I'm working for the day when that ain't make-believe (hah)

The Almighty, fall to your knees
Old man with an apple be up all in the trees
Indeed, you ain’t getting knowledge for free
It’s why tell them that the rap shidit’s all in the steez
The Almighty, best in the game
Hit up mc chris and he could tell you the same
Buto on the bars, Nick Kwas on the fiddling
Makkon on the beat, good God we be killing ‘em

(Verse 2)
Rap god, beast lurking in the black bog
Got too many raps now, working on my backlog
‘Se to the Bay, Caltrain to the last stop
Imma hunt your ass down, training my attack frog
Makkon in the back, dog, playing the conductor
You ragging on the track, Imma make you into mustard
Y’all always wanna know and ask what I’m up ter?
Macking in the back of a Mack truck at Rutgers
Mad rap, welcome to the Terrordome
Grab that mic, you ain’t aite, coroner gonna need a HAZMAT
Indeed, due to my very known status
I’m in a tweed suit with the herringbone fabric
Hype too, snapback and a bright shoe (ooh)
Quite coo, kick rap cause I like to
Best troll, should have figured this after I pissed off Jus Allah
with a diss meant for Kaiju


(Verse 3)
You shouldn’t be betting that I never would
get you for your beats, kill ‘em better than you ever could
Californ shit, a vet up in the redwoods
Monterey Bay, there ain't been a wetter hood
Nerdcore shit, hax with a hash dump
Slip up in the whip, dip, mash to some rad funk
Told you its a black Accent with a hatch trunk
chump, little rap sticker slapped on the back bump
Crack dunks, that’s a pair of Nikes that I like, bruh
Telling you the City paradise like Haifa
Any biter fronting on the writes is getting diced up thrice
Wanna say that I’m incisive? You right
The reason that I rap, is the reason why you fap
...ulous people are always finna peep another track
Alrighty, chill and drink a chilled or an iced tea
I am the Almighty of writes, please!

Track Name: Spetsanaz
(Verse 1)
It ain’t time for some action
It’s time for some rapping
Like back when kicking a rap was what was happening
I’m giving daps and hanging out with cool folks
Here’s a science fact: an oviraptor drools yolks
because it eats eggs
although recently that theory has been challenged based on new interpretations of the fossil record
and I’m hot on record, MP3
and yo I never get played, like a bent CD
I spent last month eating ice cream
listening to Paul’s Botique, weeping
thinking about the god Yauch, he taught me to go nards out
in raps and in life, go hard with what you’se all about
In all bouts, kill it with the quickness
Fuck a verbal anime, lyrical Stanley Ipkiss
and when I rip this, I can’t say this is just a business
when Buto make the DJ spin it like a discus

My middle name must be “Lets Collab”
‘cause every time that I walk by, y’all are all like “let’s collab!”
Get the text? (Yeah)
I expect the raps are finna make them backflip like the Spets-a-naz
My middle name must be “I Dissed You”
‘cause every time that I log in, y’all are all like “I dissed you!”
That’s a sentiment that I’m hip to
but it still don’t make me really want to rhyme with you

(Verse 2)
sim simma, who’s got the keys to my Beamer?
Jack move, that’s how we act when we team up
Beam up, no Kirk, but I would bone a alien
You want a sixteen? Hurry up and pay me then
I do it for the yayper, I don’t do it for my health
Track making ten tens, Imma diss you, never make amends
You ain’t a rapper, you ain’t even good at aping them
Listen, I know Darth Vader, you just have a Vader pen
Think again, dead men never blink again
I bought a Total Blender just so I could drink your friends
I even told them about your Pinkamena kink and then
Will it blend? Shit, put it by the sink and rend
Wipe it up with Shamwow, spread a little Oxyclean
Said I was a proper fiend, dead you if you talk to me
and like Captain Spaulding, Imma get leaving
because your raps are giving me that not-so-fresh feeling


(Verse 3)
Ayn Rand got books out the anal gland
(Um, you say it “Ayn”)
Ayo, look, you’re being anal man
Rather read Chomsky anyway
but you can emigrate to Peter Thiel’s magical island
Spend the day!
Anyway, my raps are better than your raps,
et cetera, of course, you’re a veteran doormat
Your beats, well, you can take excedrin for that
I only diss cause your shittiness engenders the format
You wrote raps just like me
but yours lack that nicety
but it’s more that you’re whiny
I’m bored that you tried me
You sore that I’m slightly more dope than you?
Bite me
I’ll air pump your dome piece...Cormac McCarthy
Challengers lucky if they don’t get blocked
Like, unless you’re Poopy, Buto won’t get got
So all you Juggalos, wifebeaters, hopefuls and tots:
ain’t no use in stepping if you don’t step hot

Track Name: Mister Nice Guy (feat. Vanilla Rice & Shubzilla)
The nice guy's a special breed of man and you might know a couple
So I thought I'd break it down and maybe show what's up to
anybody interested, and if you get intercepted
by the aforementioned cat then you'll prolly predict the rest of
this but I ain't tryna be clever or chuck a plot twist
I'm tryna write a rap about nice guys, I got this
The guys who probably dying just to lock lips
It's awkward, and some say they toxic, to be honest, well
maybe the niceness is in the beholder's optics
and it ain't my intention to try to patrol your top picks
I mean, that's the point really, crossfit jock or not it's
not the proper place for anyone but y'all to cop control, yep
Mister Nice Guy however takes some exception
to the fact that anyone might never crave his affection
Liking your Facebook pics, hoping that you'll make the connection
I wouldn't hug him hi, he's probly got a raging (objection!)

(Chorus - Kabuto)
You might think he's like your next of kin (Mister Nice Guy)
He's telling people that you friendzoned him (Mister Nice Guy)
Check your Facebook, man, he's there (Mister Nice Guy)
He's been saving up your strands of hair (Mister Nice Guy)
He thinks your boyfriends are cads and louts (Mister Nice Guy)
He ain't never gonna ask you out (Mister Nice Guy)
He's acting like he's your good friend
but that ain't what he's looking for in the end, not Mister Nice Guy
Track Name: Yo, Science
(Intro - Guy on Youtube Reading Isaac Asimov)
There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there always has been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that "my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge."

(Chorus - Mr. Wheels & Kabuto the Python)
[Ali G - "Yo, science...what is it all about?"] [Richard Dawkins - "Evidence"]
[Ali G - "Is it good, or is it wack? Yo..."] [Neil DeGrasse Tyson - "Science"]
[Fiorello LaGuardia - "What does it all mean?"] [Richard Dawkins - "Reason"]
[Nigel Lambert - "Look around you"] [Ghostface Killah - "I revolve around sciences"]
Yo, science
[Ali G - "What is it all about?"] [Richard Dawkins - "Evidence"]
Ayo it's science
[Ali G - "Is it good, or is it wack?"]
Ayo it's science
[Bill Nye - "Science"] [Fiorello LaGuardia - "What does it all mean?"]
Ayo it's science
[Nigel Lambert - "Look around you"] [Ghostface Killah - "I revolve around sciences"]

(Verse 1)
Ayo, science
Lots of people want to ban it
and even those who love it often do not understand it
so can it, Kabuto's about to get his science on
and discuss some popular misconceptions and say why they're wrong
For example: human evolution
is a subject that makes me want to shoot a huge hadouken
like when an atheist is all debating a creationist
on evolution making mad mistakes as they're explaining it
Like, people think that evolution happens on a scale
and that a human's more evolved and therefore better than a whale
Not so
There is no end point of all creation,
just selection for an ever-changing niche--it's adaptation
Second, that selection happens over greater populations
it's an average, not a direct sign of deformation
so if stupid people die, you shouldn't let it fuel your narcisissm
Listen smug fuck, it's due to luck more than to Darwinism
Another thing is cancer, and not to say I love it
but every year I see a chain letter sent by some kid
that says that new experiments have cured it in a mouse
but that Big Pharma doesn't want to let us all find out
By now they've got to have a couple dozen different cures
and if that were true, you bet it would be scandalous for sure
only what helps a mouse get better rarely helps a person
so a healthy mouse is just another lead that's kinda working
Good news, but not a cure for cancer--no conspiracy,
just press releases trying to get some funding, are you feeling me?
And pandas are bears, Yellowstone ain’t gonna blow
and if a shark attacks you, punch it in the gills and not the nose


(Verse 2)
Next, let me run it down, let you know what’s up
with the climate change, some of y’all got it mad fucked up
First, scientists, including in the National Academy
were aware of global warming at least as far back as the seventies
Speaking of which, “global warming” is a fair term to use--
although local temps may seem just to fluctuate to you,
the average global trend in temperatures is pointing upward
causing greater variation among highs and lows
We suffer from an ill-informed community of pundits, who trumpet
the views of some dissenters who only number in the hundreds
The percent of climatologists endorsing the consensus
is in the very high nineties
been high since like the nineties
Some cite the panic over global cooling in ‘76
as evidence that scientists are, every now and then, full of shit
but the panic then was minimal, consensus nonexistent
so don't suggest that this is something to compare--because it isn't
Some will tell you it's a natural cycle.
and if you peep the long-term graphs you can imagine it if you try to
but while climate cycles do occur, they happen very slowly
and none account for rapid warming on this scale, so they can blow me
And every scientific organization of any standing
has endorsed the view that climate change is something we have a hand in
Dissenters take their papes from Shell or Exxon just to get work
but there’s really no debate among the reputable experts

Track Name: Kicked Ones, Pt. 2 (feat. Schäffer the Darklord)
(Kabuto the Python)
Yo, I got two boots and a hella lotta faces
I don't like lookin at me, damn, ayo Schaffses

(Schaffer the Darklord)
Hey, what’s up Kabuto?

(Kabuto the Python)
Whatcha think that we should do?

(Schaffer the Darklord)
Make the motherfucking Face-Kicking Song Part Two!

(Schaffer the Darklord)
Boot plus face!

(Kabuto the Python)
Yeah, I get it, stop harping. Imma kick em in the face with the Timbs

(Schaffer the Darklord)
Or Doc Martins!

(Kabuto the Python)
Yeah, leave a heavy duty sole printed on the noggin

(Schaffer the Darklord)
More specifically, the face

(Kabuto the Python)
A.K.A. the bit that do the talking. How many I kicked so far?

(Schaffer the Darklord)
Well, I’ve got a million

(Kabuto the Python)
Nice, whatcha think of that, Mark?

(Schaffer the Darklord)
I think that's a lot of kicking

(Kabuto the Python)
Oh, and know the Nobel?

(Schaffer the Darklord)

(Kabuto the Python)
Hell, I'm probably winning

(Schaffer the Darklord)

(Kabuto the Python)
Because I found a quick and easy cure for prognathism (get it?)

(Schaffer the Darklord)
Don't tell the Hapsburgs!

(Kabuto the Python)
Schaffer, you're a mad nerd

(Schaffer the Darklord)
Yeah, word

(Kabuto the Python)
What I'd ever wanna kick em in the nads for? Face-kick Kabutishly

(Schaffer the Darklord)
I haven't heard of that word!

(Kabuto the Python)
It means “in the manner of Kabuto,” it's an adverb

(Chorus - Kabuto the Python)
Kick em (kick em) kick em (kick em)
Kick em (kick em) kick em in the face, kid

(Schaffer the Darklord)
This little piggie got with four little piggies
and they all had mad beef, and they got all kicky in your face

(Kabuto the Python)
In your face!

(Schaffer the Darklord)
In your motherfucking face!
Two feets dropping beats under thunderous bass
Instead of scare rap tactics on you, fuck it I said
I'm Fred Astaire, tap-dancing on the front of your head
Kabuto mang?

(Kabuto the Python)
You rang?

(Schaffer the Darklord)
What you got, dude?

(Kabuto the Python)
Two fangs!

(Schaffer the Darklord)
Ooh, dang, bicycle kick up on you

Liu Kang!

(Schaffer the Darklord)
I come from Queens, and I'm repping the place
Won't even kick you, Imma knock you down and step on your face
I go hammering your hamlets, pillaging your villages
Kick you where it hurts

(Kabuto the Python)

(Schaffer the Darklord)
Right up in your privelege with the illest shit!

(Kabuto the Python)

(Schaffer the Darklord)
Hit you like it's 9/11!

(Kabuto the Python)

(Schaffer the Darklord)
Kick you in the face with a pair of size elevens!

(Kabuto the Python)
That's a big shoe

(Schaffer the Darklord)
It's true, and what they say of it too
STD, Kabuto gonna get you

Kick you in the face!


(Schaffer the Darklord)
Yes indeed you see that KTP's the flyest, meanest
Call me STD and kiss on my Adidas, with your nose

(Kabuto the Python)
With your nose!

(Schaffer the Darklord)
With your motherfucking nose!
Timbos on the toes, this is how it goes
You vain prick, you're weak, all right?

(Kabuto the Python)
No, we aren't friends

(Schaffer the Darklord)
My crane kick technique is tight

(Kabuto the Python)
No can defense

(Schaffer the Darklord)
You get silenced by violence, put you in your place quick and we got

Buckets and buckets, buckets of fucking face-kicking!

(Kabuto the Python)
Like I said, I won't kick em in the nuts, cause it's been done

(Schaffer the Darklord)
What about the Muay Thai?

(Kabuto the Python)
Kick em with my shin, son
Kick em eating dim sum, kick em in the chin
Kung fu about to leave a rapper looking like the Simpsons

(Schaffer the Darklord)
Kick you with my steel-toes

(Kabuto the Python)
For real, they’re gonna feel those, Schaffer--

(Schaffer the Darklord)
--and the snake--

(Kabuto the Python)
--kicking faces and the real flows

(Schaffer the Darklord)

(Kabuto the Python)
If you’re hating, acting racist, or vexing
We’re about to kick you in the face

No question!

Track Name: Purply Spots (feat. Poopyhands)
(Verse 1 - Kabuto the Python)
Oh you finna be a tough guy? How?
You finna bust like "blaow" or fisticuff? Ite, wow
Listen man, it's gonna be a rough night now
when I throw you out a chopper flying upside down
I'm tryna shoot peeps with abundant ease
Til the NRA's finna give me guns for free
I hope your dick gets stung by a hundred bees
while I roll up in the club rocking dungarees
You're about to leave in bandages, guy
I'm gonna slam you with a frying pan and damage your spine
until the mantle is mine, and then at 7 or 9
I'll come to the hospital and rub sand in your eyes
Yo, don't you the way I body your neighbors'll
put the army out of work, like psychology majors
Mopping up later, I'll ring Obama "Yo player
you know those drones you done built, I need to call in a favor"

Yo it’s Kabuto and my man's finna hurt you a lot
and any jerk that's on our block that could get merked on the spot

Ain't no telling which person we'll chop
Gonna make 'em fall quicker than a turd when it drop

We're gonna hit you til you're covered with the purply spots
and ain't no remedy for this whether it's herbal or not

Certainly hot, man you heard what we got
so prepare for impact as we serve you the shots

(Verse 2 - Poopyhands)
My shit goes hard, eating plenty of fiber
Come out guns blazing, for real said I’m on fire
I don’t think your lady’s parts couldn’t get any tighter
Got her wet and wild while we having sex on the dryer
I never left a trace when I was spreading her legs
and she always came first like I was second in place
Once I’m done I tell her get the fucking hell out my face
and I’m quick to blame it solely on my adventurous ways
Me and Kabuto like raiders up in the lost ark
while you fruity dude faker than some pop tarts
With your artificial flavor, that is not hard
I stay funky like the vapors from a hot fart
Prepare to be catching wind
Cause we’re at it again, give the track a spin
It’s time to kick him in the shin and laugh at him
Kabuto, come and tell em what’s happening


(Verse 3 - Kabuto & Poopy)
And if they say that pain is weakness when it's leaving the body
you'll be the strongest man alive right when you're eating my shotty
because I'm evil and naughty, plus hella creepy cause probably
I learned from Poopyhands way back when he was keeping it potty
Listen, anybody jocking the steez, I mean
You better hope Kabut don't take a glock to your knees
Plus pull out your toenails while you vomit and wheeze
and then I'll grind em up and tell you that it's parmesan cheese

Feel it in the air like a fart in the breeze
Hot flows out the ass like I’m scarfing the beans
We making cuts that are sharp as can be
We armed to the teeth so don’t try to argue with me
Beware the spinal cord because it might just tear
I guess it’s safe to say we ain’t fighting fair
I format you assholes when I wipe em there
Track Name: The Guest List (feat. Shael Riley, Schäffer the Darklord, Adam WarRock, Int80, SayHi, Da Silky Slimz, Old Snake Da CQC MC, Beefy, Whoremoans, The Scrub Club All-Stars, Navi, Mikal KHill, Sulfur, The Ranger, Billy the Fridge, Random, Jesse Dangerously, Wordburglar & MC Frontalot)
Dear everybody--guests that I wrote on the list
Thanks for being on my song, y'all are doper than shit
and whether you be sipping cola or be smoking the piff
you ought to know that this collabo was my Kokoro Wish
Biggest posse track, thought it would be tough to sell
but you all showed up and now I'm chuffed as hell
The guest list definitely stuffed the bill (ho ho ho)
and now we finna party like a Hutt cartel
Track Name: Sequential Art
(Verse 1)
I used to read Control-Alt-Delete
Yeah, I know, but I was thirteen or so and yo, I thought it was sweet
and I was awkward and meek, into these comics for geeks
Put in a Star Wars reference and I'm probably piqued
Yo, I read Penny Arcade, isn't it lame
I used to only read the ones about the video games
I wasn't spitting no game, probably don't need to explain
because I get the feeling some of y’all done did it the same
I used to read Sluggy Freelance as a kid
Riff and Torg and Aylee and Bun-Bun were the shit
That was, what, back in aught-one or aught-two
It was all right, if you wanna read Sluggy you ought to
Furries had Better Days--incest and Ayn Rand
and TwoKinds's fanbase never thought it kinda bland
I ain’t fucks with all that, but Lackadaisy Cats is still my shit
I'll three-finger smack a hater (Slap!!!)

Support your favorite webcomic, else they ain’t eating
White Ninja, Doctor McNinja stay sneaking
Problem Sleuth, Homestuck, Gunshow--way decent
Plus, innumerable big ups to Kate Beaton
Ayo, when's Tom Siddell gonna put more shit for sale?
Dresden Codak, Octopus Pie, The Chipper Whale
TopatoCo and all of the strips that it entails
Wonderella, Achewood, Digger, and other tales

(Verse 2)
In high school, I was all about the Dinosaur Comics
because the dinosaurs were dope and the writing was flawless
T-rex was ‘bout it, stomping mad anachronisms
but he'd always get his shit shut down by raptor wisdom
No beef, but though I never messed with any Clark Kent
I'd hop up on Safari for some Questionable Content
I read it for a year before it lost its interest to me
Honestly, I think I started cause I thought there would be boobies
Overcompensating, course Wigu was my boy
I loved the little yellow thingy who was made out of poison
They sold him as a toy son
Crass? It’s debatable
They got a hundred comic shirts for sale up on TopatoCo
Perry Bible Fellowship was doper than most
I remember when it used to update with multiple posts
and I read some underground shit: Thinkin’ Lincoln, mad sick
Wondermark, Gaming Guardians and Reprographics


(Verse 3)
These days it's Gunnerkrigg Court, because it stays dope
and Prequel, when either updates pages, I’m way stoked
Katja Donlan and Managan be my fave folks
Hope the latter manages to stay up off the rape jokes, a strip that really's
an inimitable mixture of heartsick and wistful and silly
The little baby fox motherfucker killed me
I copped the book, support for Charles Christopher, you feel me?
I got heat (no Charlie Heston)
for cats who trace pics and flaunt degrees like Tom Preston
And on the topic of strips I'm not reading:
Fuck misogynist apologist shit like Dom Deegan
and that Tarol Hunt guy is a slimy jerk
I would be saying that even if I liked his work
Ayo The Meek's great, crazy, and at times berserk
and I’m tryna make the time to read Delilah Dirk

Track Name: Verdauga Greeneyes
(Verse 1 - Verdauga)
British motherfuckers bound to shout "the guy's barmey"
while I chill in Kotir with the Thousand Eye Army
Proudly I, couched with 5,000 fly mamis
tout divine powers, live rowdy, die calmly
Sigil flap stiched to my flags atop towers
Dynasty the peak of the cats in Mossflower
Burning oil plotting strategics at odd hours
with the otter clans trading me weapons for raw powder
Zweihander strapped to the flank, collecting tax for the ranks
I got some rats with some shanks that need to eat, kid
Listen, bastard I ain't, protect your asses
Give thanks that for a cat I'm a saint, we in agreement
A. I run my fortress with ease, I run the forest and trees, I thunder forcibly
B. You men are mice, though
I used to bump AOTP, I'm kinda playing
their beat and writing graciously
Steez is hella maestro

And y'all rats, kid (rats, kid)
All up in my bubble talking that shit (that shit)
I knew that you were trouble but this cat kid (cat kid)
is a motherfucker you don't scrap with, motherfucker
Motherfucker it's Verdauga, the Lord of Kotir as I command it
It's Verdauga (the green-eyed bandit, can't stand it)
It's Verdauga with the Thousand Eye Army, god damn it,
It's Verdauga

(Verse 2 - Martin)
This shit is half fanfiction, other half grand diction
Wandering far from my home and clan, miss them
And remembering the smell of a rose is damn sickening
Ambushed, to the hilt of the blade my hand quickens
The Thousand Eyes glimmer twixt trees from all around me, surround me
Dope but outmatched, I'm beaten soundly
Verdauga Greeneyes decries and treats me lousy
I'm on it though, link with C.O.R.I.M. and meet the mousethief
'Scape into the forest, skip the gate and we run
Meet the skipper in alliance with some atheist nuns
and deep in Brockhall, the critters all are majorly bummed
It seems the coup of Tsarmina means the capers is done
But I ain't playing for fun, the name is Martin, son of Luke the legend
We can talk about your fucking vittles and your soup in heaven
Dip to Badger Mountain, I ain't tryna hear your stupid reverend
Re-forge my sword with a star that fell, a super weapon


(Verse 3 - Bane)
Scimitar, scabbard and mind to use it promptly
In it for the cash and dash, finna be gone, see,
and pay a couple rabbity sops to do my laundry
with ale in my chalice and sipping beneath a palm tree
My men are threescore strong
with a couple dozen oak strongboxes in which we store arms
Known to Verdauga, now we fight for his daughter
because the cat done made a generous offer
The name is Bane and I march with my sixty-odd weasels on the woods
Doing evil for the good of my people with the goods
Verdauga would've won it, but his seed they never could
hence, deceit is what I would--less a eagle get my hood
Told her that I'm down for the cause, but i'm lying
Backstabber, strike with the speed of the sky's lighting
Fighter, I do it for me or I die trying
Damned to die proud, die free, die flying


Thousand Eyes, march
Track Name: Kabutojira
(Verse 1)
Kabuto is a monster, chomping all your little squashy noggins
Off it's poppin, cop a concrete bunker and I'll stomp it all in
Gotta understand that me and Billy got a lot in common
Leviathan will get you, Butojira is a raucous swamp thing
Roar as they retreat my path, sort of nice the scheme is
sleep with shorties with a preacher dad, cordially retrieve my hat
and court her if he be decent, if he don't I scheme to beat his ass
Not much into reefer but i'll break a coral reef in half
Pregnant with a hungry fetus, if you think "that one gon eat us"
way to go then buddy, see, cause you're a motherfucking genius
First kaiju in bloody sneakers, Nike dunks I snub Adidas
Y'all be on the run beneath us, somethin like some Thumbelinas
Fuck a neural handshake, little Jaeger get a face of acid
Save the plastic Gobots for your kids, I'm finna stay unmastered
Stomp a honkey saying "ratchet," your awfullest day I'll match it
Think that life's a party? Hardly, sorry, well today I crashed it

Kabutojira is my monster name
I stomp about and leave the planet in some constant pain
and if you fuckos try to stop me with your bombs and planes
I'll hit the capitals of every nation, y'all be slain

(Verse 2)
Hit me with an oil tanker? I don't think that that would work
Buy your dinky gats, ya jerk, I shatter window glass when irked
Tryna craft my work but I have to murder masses first
Other kaiju feel me, when I rap they twerk and crack the earth
Back to work, bet the breath'll burn your grass or astroturf
You mad? I'll turn and slap a ratty klurf back to his daddy's birth
Moses turning back the surf, battleships sunk at their berths
Acting worse, Kabuto is mad and writing raps at work
Track's a fucking masterwork but I am just a damn typhoon
Mans impugn the status, leave em bandaged with they tendons hewn
Nicki type of Monster rap that y'all cant hold a candle to
Your cannons boom but cannot do no damage to my mantle dude
Citizen Kabuto, Giant, courtesy of Planet Moon
Cram bamboo cause y'all will go extinct like all the pandas do
I would say your planet's doomed, moon get body slammed at noon
and this should find a place among my very illest jams and tunes


If you gon fuck with a monster like me be forewarned:
I, kabutojira, will step on your house!
Track Name: Multi Cheesin (Variant Remix)
(Verse 1)
Ayo they keep eyes on this J-Street zionist
Take me, I will get eighteen nines and clips
Maybe I'll regret spraying these minor threats
facing finely prepped crazy violent deaths
Probably not though, really might go drastic
No Juggalo, ill and psychopathic
You know you love it though, skill is likely mastered
Never call the 5-0, villains with the badges
Hit em with some rad shit, kill em with the madness
Sittin in a black six, skrilla in the back, dip
Villain and a bad dick, silly like a rabbit
and thinking that your track isn't illy--you are average
Yeah, I am sick with the multi cheesing
Chillin with your mom it is simply a sultry evening
Then again I'll extend it to all the weekend
With tennis and probably skiing
and rimming and chugging semen

I got styles styles styles styles
F f f f for miles miles miles miles miles
L l l l like the like the Nile Nile Nile
Leaving wack rappers in denial

(Verse 2)
Ayo you nah cop clues
Fucking ras claat foos, never on top noobs
Spoiler alert: I ain't no soft mark who
Ain't gonna Robb Stark you and your small dog too
Two hand specialty, stididitch your dome piece
You, damn, hella weak, diddling a pony
Brony, feta cheese innards on the floor, B
Phonies better please simper to the O.G.
Act right, mad nice, shit on nice or wack writes
Hobbit shit: that's, like, finna break a fast twice
Gats ice hack types, hidden with a mask I
clap twice, stab tykes, hit em with a Maglite
Shattered bulb in oculars
A rapper that is hot for sure?
I'm grabbing your binoculars
and travelling to his spot to merk
Blasting any officers, attack they helicopters
and roll up to your crib so I can shit on your face
Track Name: Bars On A Tight-Beam
The Almighty, God of the wri-ting
Type clean, type hype bars on a tight-beam
It's gotta be a tight team, right?
Type Spike Lee, come on, do the right thing
Bars on a tight-beam
The Almighty, God of the wri-ting
Type clean, type hype bars on a tight-beam
Bling, that is some slight thing to the right wing
Light stage lights late night so the mic gleam