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about

This song name-drops 36 different webcomics. How many can you recognize? Kabuto wishes it to be known that since making this song he has started reading Paranatural and it is his new favorite. He wishes he could have included it here. He still hasn't read Delilah Dirk.

lyrics

(Verse 1)
I used to read Control-Alt-Delete
Yeah, I know, but I was thirteen or so and yo, I thought it was sweet
and I was awkward and meek, into these comics for geeks
Put in a Star Wars reference and I'm probably piqued
Yo, I read Penny Arcade, isn't it lame
I used to only read the ones about the video games
I wasn't spitting no game, probably don't need to explain
because I get the feeling some of y’all done did it the same
I used to read Sluggy Freelance as a kid
Riff and Torg and Aylee and Bun-Bun were the shit
That was, what, back in aught-one or aught-two
It was all right, if you wanna read Sluggy you ought to
Furries had Better Days--incest and Ayn Rand
and TwoKinds's fanbase never thought it kinda bland
I ain’t fucks with all that, but Lackadaisy Cats is still my shit
I'll three-finger smack a hater (Slap!!!)

(Chorus)
Support your favorite webcomic, else they ain’t eating
White Ninja, Doctor McNinja stay sneaking
Problem Sleuth, Homestuck, Gunshow--way decent
Plus, innumerable big ups to Kate Beaton
Ayo, when's Tom Siddell gonna put more shit for sale?
Dresden Codak, Octopus Pie, The Chipper Whale
TopatoCo and all of the strips that it entails
Wonderella, Achewood, Digger, and other tales

(Verse 2)
In high school, I was all about the Dinosaur Comics
because the dinosaurs were dope and the writing was flawless
T-rex was ‘bout it, stomping mad anachronisms
but he'd always get his shit shut down by raptor wisdom
No beef, but though I never messed with any Clark Kent
I'd hop up on Safari for some Questionable Content
I read it for a year before it lost its interest to me
Honestly, I think I started cause I thought there would be boobies
Overcompensating, course Wigu was my boy
I loved the little yellow thingy who was made out of poison
They sold him as a toy son
Crass? It’s debatable
They got a hundred comic shirts for sale up on TopatoCo
Perry Bible Fellowship was doper than most
I remember when it used to update with multiple posts
and I read some underground shit: Thinkin’ Lincoln, mad sick
Wondermark, Gaming Guardians and Reprographics

(Chorus)

(Verse 3)
These days it's Gunnerkrigg Court, because it stays dope
and Prequel, when either updates pages, I’m way stoked
Katja Donlan and Managan be my fave folks
Hope the latter manages to stay up off the rape jokes
Abominable.cc, a strip that really's
an inimitable mixture of heartsick and wistful and silly
The little baby fox motherfucker killed me
I copped the book, support for Charles Christopher, you feel me?
I got heat (no Charlie Heston)
for cats who trace pics and flaunt degrees like Tom Preston
And on the topic of strips I'm not reading:
Fuck misogynist apologist shit like Dom Deegan
and that Tarol Hunt guy is a slimy jerk
I would be saying that even if I liked his work
Ayo The Meek's great, crazy, and at times berserk
and I’m tryna make the time to read Delilah Dirk

(Chorus)

credits

from The Almighty (Deluxe Edition), released August 9, 2013
Raps by Kabuto. Beat by Variant.

license

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Kabuto the Python New York, New York

Kabuto is a rude reptilian creature from beyond the outer reaches of the solar system.

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